A Reason To Avoid Judging Others.

Judging a person is something native to humans. Since the dawn of mankind we’ve been judging other humans and animals and to put them into one of the few categories, friend or foe. However it has evolved to be something much more then that today. We often judge people to consider or reconsider associating with them. Although this habit is inherently healthy and natural, to bond with like minded people, it can easily turn negative when we use it to demean others or make them feel inferior, especially based on subjective traits.

Many times, these subjective may not be an indication of the type of person someone is or if they’re better than you or inferior.

Let us understand this with the help of an example:

Ali and Adam are two co workers in a reputed MNC in a developed country.

Adam was already an employee when Ali joined. Ali, originally from a culturally rich country was just getting started with his life in the corporate world in Adam’s country. 

Adam was assigned as a trainer to Ali, he realised Ali was very quick and efficient to grasp new concepts, vivid in his work and overall a kind light hearted soul. Adam didn’t think much of Ali as a regular nice guy, after all, everyone at Adam’s company was nice to one another, perhaps out of the need to maintain the basic decorum of their office. 

One evening, Adam and Ali went for lunch together after having completed a week’s worth of work. They went for lunch at a mid tier restaurant which offered delights from all sorts of cuisine’s. Ali ordered something he was much more familiar, a dish common among his culture, some plain white rice with chicken curry while Adam ordered some good old classic pasta. Shortly after, their food arrived, as Adam was about to begin eating, he noticed something from Ali. He saw that Ali sidelined his fork and spoon when the meal arrived and started eating with his bare hands. Adam felt a bit disgusted, he had seen videos online of people eating with their own hands but seeing someone in real life eating with their own hands shook him. He started thinking that perhaps Ali was brought up in a poor environment where they didn’t have enough money to afford proper utensils. He carried on with his pasta but thoughts of Ali and his habit kept bothering him.

Finally, it was time to pay the bill. Adam, happy that the experience was over picked it up to see his part of the share, Ali swiftly snatched the bill and said “It’s our first time having lunch together outside the company, where am from we always pay for our guests”. This startled Adam, he wasn’t used to someone paying the bill on his behalf, that too someone who was inferior to him at the corporate level,  with this being the final trigger, Adam asked Ali “Why do you want to pay the total bill even though am your senior?” To which Ali replied “Where am from, we always pay the bill for the person whom we take out to eat, its a kind gesture to let them know that they value greater than the money to us and it also pleases god”. Adam was quite impressed, it was his first time being enlightened to such a unique perspective, he finally followed up with the question which had been marinating in his head for a while “Ali, why do you only eat rice with hand? Isn’t it disgusting? Who knows where all could your hand have been” to which Ali replied “My father was a wealthy influential leader in our local town, he in a sense represented the culture of the people there, we always have our meals sitting on the floor together with our family, eating using our hands, it was never because of lack of resources but because this is the way we saw our grandfather’s eat, it has always been a sense of cultural connection to our community and heritage which provides us with a sense of identity and authenticity”. Adam felt a bit guilty for judging and the question he asked, Ali reassured him that it is completely understandable what he felt initially and also appreciated him for taking the initiative to ask the question instead of fostering false prejudices regarding Ali’s past and the environment he was brought up in, for who knows he may have treated Ali differently if he hadn’t asked the question and had kept his false assumptions about Ali’s family and past to himself.

Ali and Adam eventually became close friends who would go on to travel the world together exploring multiple cultures and making friends in an attempt to understand and truly be a citizen of not a country, but of planet Earth.

TLDR: We often judge people who’re different than us, it is natural and is a safety mechanism for us humans. As humans we choose the easier way out by judging and avoiding rather than confronting and learning. Many times we fail to realise that a person may be engaging in something for completely different reasons for what we assume them to be. If a person’s actions/habits subjectively bother you does not mean they’re inferior to you, you’re better off understanding them rather than fostering prejudices. Understanding of others, whether they’re like you or different demands a deep sense of humility, courage and curiosity.