The Facade of Pretension.

Formally speaking, it refers to the act of putting up a personality or a lifestyle which is deceiving of your true self.

To put on a facade to pretend to be someone you are not.

Before we dive deeper into the topic’s causes, effects, consequences and solutions, let’s understand it with an example :

Sunny is a 28 year old software engineer working in the United States. He is originally from India and was raised there in a slum like locality with all the necessities but a lack of hygiene and quality in those necessities. He had running water but it would get unexpectedly dirty at times, he had food but the plate wasn’t always shiny with no spots, he had electricity but only for a limited amount of time throughout the day. 

Growing up Sunny didn’t really mind eating at the local restaurants, in-fact he really enjoyed the food and didn’t pay heed to the lack of hygiene, not to mention he didn’t even know there was a hygienic issue because he had never eaten at any other place more hygienic than this restaurant! 

As Sunny grew up he started working hard and achieving his goals, getting a job at a reputed MNC , which was a huge deal in regards to his background and even more so when he transferred to USA. Sunny now eats only at 4-5 Star restaurants, he barely prefers even fast food. He doesn’t necessarily love the food he eats at the 5 Star restaurants but he still brags about it at any and every conversation  he’s involved in. The atmosphere during congregations is filled with Sunny’s talks about how he had lunch at one luxurious restaurant and dinner at another expensive one.

But Sunny doesn’t really like the food he eats, in-fact he would much rather prefer the type of dishes he had growing up than the ones he eats now, after all it has the perfect blends of spices which Sunny likes and now in the USA with the amount of money Sunny makes, he can easily afford the same dishes having much greater quality and hygiene  for much less than he spends on his 5 Star restaurant ventures.

Then why does Sunny prefer the unnecessarily expensive 5 Star Restaurants when he doesn’t even enjoy the food?

Because Sunny lives in deception. He cannot comprehend the quality of life he had and type of food he had growing up, before he became successful in the corporate world. He’s afraid to eat the same food, as it is not a sign of culture or nostalgia for him, but instead a sign of shame and trauma. 

Sunny feels insecure, all his peers have been brought up in developed localities. He hates talking about his past and being the only odd one out, Sunny doesn’t realize that its our differences that make us unique.

Sunny, puts on a Facade of Pretension.

He pretends to be someone he is not with the lifestyle he lives, he doesn’t enjoy his lifestyle but still lives it because he is insecure to accept his past.

While many of us may or may not be as gravely in the Facade of Pretension as Sunny, one way or another we are somewhat caught up in this race.

a)Causes : 1.  Age Group : Naturally, making an intelligent guess about people’s behavior at different age groups would enlighten you that the youth of a person, or the age groups of adolescence and young adults are the ones who care about what people think about them the most.  

1. Social Media : If self consciousness is a car engine, then social media is its turbo. Self consciousness requires a person to get feedback on them, thats why most people are eager to listen to what you want to say about them. Social media greatly accelerates and monopolizes this feedback mechanism through the means of likes, comments and much more. This makes the already self conscious youth even more self conscious due to the accelerated feedback mechanism.
2. Insecurities : This is a very broad topic, a person’s insecurities can be linked to anything in his life, his past, present, physique, ethnicity etc. Anything about a person which makes him feel out of place at congregations or inferior to others can be a fuel to pursue The Facade of Pretension.

b) Effects : 1.  Self Deception : It can lead to a person believing himself to be someone he is not, which can lead to skewed actions and unrealistic expectations.

1. Internal Anxiety : When one is not being authentic and genuine, it can lead to anxiety within oneself to put up the act perfectly and to meet up to people’s expectations, this can cause exhaustion and mental health issues.
2. Strained Relationships : A lack of authenticity and putting up a facade can lead to tensions between you and people close to you.

c) Cures : 1. Realization and Acceptance, Acknowledge and Embrace : Acknowledge whatever insecurity you may have or may feel and accept it. Reality is we’re all a statistic at the end of the day and how we are isn’t as big of a deal as we make it out to be, especially to other people. Accept whatever insecurities you may have with regards to your physique, past or environment and consider them to be a gift or a moulder to the clay(you). Your differences make you a unique person, a work of art, it is these things which make you stand out, which may not appeal to everyone because we as humans aren’t designed to appeal to everyone.

2.Genuineness : It is well known that you develop the mindset of the environment you’re in, if not completely then at least partially due to the natural influence of the information that goes into your brain. It works the other way around as well, by being a genuine person who isn’t afraid to accept himself, the people you attract or who’re already around you start becoming more genuine which leads to honesty, stronger bonds and friendships or relations which have way more depth.  This ultimately leads you to not only a better understanding of the person you’re connected with but also leads to people who dislike you to not to bother you anymore and rids of the burden to please them or appeal to them.

3.Meditation/Prayer : Practicing meditation or praying or any of the activities which lead you to spending time with yourself alone where you have a clear mind and can afford clear thoughts leads you to thinking about the things which really matter in life instead of merely thinking about ways to please people.

While all of these may have given you some insights into what the Facade of Pretension may look like, it is really important for you to consciously think about how the above topic applies to your own life and those around you and how you may better it with an intention of having a more genuine, carefree life with deeper bonds.

TLDR : The Facade of Pretension is the putting up of an image which does not represent who you genuinely are and also requires extra effort and anxiety to maintain that image leading to poor mental health and a lack of faithful and deep relationships with people. While the causes of this can be many including social media’s attention feedback driven mechanisms, feeling inferior to others or having negative experience with family and friend relationships in the past, it is important we cure it by accepting, acknowledging and embracing the things that define us. While there are different ways to approach past situations, it is important we take all negative past or present experiences or features and treat them as a learning and driving mechanism to help improve ourselves so significantly that those events eventually turn into a catalyst for positive change in you thus making the negative events effect positive.